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Ascension

January 20, 2012

This is the photo prompt from Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride:

http://susielindau.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/wisconsin-12-0471.jpg?w=300&h=274

Come up with a story, 100 words, more or less, based on the above picture.

Ascension

Randolph led Maisy to the next level.

“What do you feel?” he asked her.

“Air, like a thermal, what hawks ride warm days.”

“Want to open your eyes?”

“No, keep walking, but slow, slow.”

Maisy, forming silent words, squeezed Randolph’s arm.

“Breathe, Mais, just breathe. When you feel up to it, open your eyes.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Try.”

“Are we … I’m not sure I want to. No, I’m certain.  I don’t want to open them.  Let’s go back, like we came.”

“Feel the air, Mais, feel the air.”

“Don’t hate me.”

“Try.”

“Don’t-”

Try.”

“Oh, God!”

“Good girl.”

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. January 20, 2012 4:37 am

    Very nicely told through dialogue. You had the same heavenly impression from the photo prompt as I, though we told very different stories. This was an great prompt and it will be interesting to see what Fictioneers make of it. Your take is very positive.

    • January 20, 2012 5:51 pm

      Something about the height made me want to use dialogue, less heavy than narrative, I suppose.
      thanks for your comments.

  2. January 20, 2012 7:07 am

    I love the conversation. It makes me think that they are up in the bird’s nest!

    Don’t forget to put your link in today’s post on my blog!
    http://susielindau.com/2012/01/20/so-close-and-yet-100-word-flash-fiction/

    • January 20, 2012 5:53 pm

      They’re up there somewhere, close to the edge I imagine.

      Thanks for stopping by and for taking the reins this week, Nice job..

  3. January 20, 2012 8:59 am

    Wow, well done and powerful! 🙂

  4. January 20, 2012 5:16 pm

    Lovely! As someone with a fear of heights, I connected with Maisy. His patient encouragement and her anxiety come through clearly. 🙂

  5. January 20, 2012 6:03 pm

    Great use of dialog to tell a story and create interesting interaction. Don’t know if the “Oh, God” was meant to be taken literally, but it was heavenly.
    Thanks for your comment on mine.

  6. John Hardy Bell permalink
    January 20, 2012 6:06 pm

    Nicely done. Love the use of dialogue. Leaves we wondering where he’s leading Maisy and why she so hesitant to go there?

  7. January 20, 2012 7:35 pm

    Now where’s that bungee cord? 😉

    Here’s my story for this week: http://wp.me/p24aJS-1P

  8. January 20, 2012 7:36 pm

    You did well with the dialog…heavy content but you handled it with ease. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Susan

  9. January 21, 2012 7:15 am

    This made my imagination run wild. Awesome

  10. January 21, 2012 9:18 am

    Very nice story. The dialogue was excellent, and made me feel the fear and wonder.

  11. January 23, 2012 1:49 pm

    This story was very well written and intriguing to boot. Caught up in the flow, I found myself walking with Maisy, being skillfully led be her caring guide to a higher place. Thanks for writing this.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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