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Whispers and Lies

April 6, 2012

This is the photo prompt from Madison Woods.

Come up with a story, 100 words, more or less, based on the above picture.

Whispers and Lies

Claudio told himself it was the river that drew him back, but standing alone beside the water, he could hear as clear as daybreak, as deep as desire, the cold soft whispers, Madeleine’s voice.  She would be just rising for work, happy with her life.

The broken twig slipped from his hand into the dark water and floated away. How quiet the shy morning had become, how solemn the trees.  His thoughts had wandered often to this place, this little river, an unbroken journey. He knew in time he would wander to other rivers, trust other whispers, breathe other lies.

31 Comments leave one →
  1. April 6, 2012 2:54 am

    Melancholy and deep. Very touching. Here’s mine:

  2. April 6, 2012 2:59 am

    Very reflective. I suppose the river is an allegory for the journey through relationships, failed or otherwise, that lie ahead. I enjoyed reflecting on this.

    Mine’s at:

  3. April 6, 2012 4:13 am

    I like the optimism at the end, even if it was still coloured by longing. And that last line skews everything, and makes me questions the feelings I had while reading it. Nicely done.

    • April 6, 2012 3:21 pm

      It took awhile to arrive at that, but it seemed to work once I got it. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. April 6, 2012 4:20 am

    A lot of melancholy entries today. I suppose the prompt does bring it out, doesn’t it? Wonderful little story.

    Here’s mine:

    • April 6, 2012 3:23 pm

      I guess something about meandering rivers brings out the melancholy. Thanks for the nice comment.

  5. April 6, 2012 4:20 am

    Yes, definitely a mood piece, but unlike Craig, I did not see any optimism here. Seems as thought eh peacefulness of the river, perhaps the innnocence of it, just hides more betrayal.
    Anyway, a lovely work.

    • April 6, 2012 3:41 pm

      I didn’t try for any intended optimism but that’s okay. Everyone’s interpretation is valid and what makes the words living things. Thanks for the compliment.

  6. April 6, 2012 5:07 am

    How beautiful — the imagery and the internalization. I especially liked: “How quiet the shy morning had become . . .” Wow.

    Here’s mine:

  7. John Hardy Bell permalink
    April 6, 2012 6:41 am

    I definitely sense a theme of reflection and loss in this week’s stories. Yours is the most touching I’ve read so far.

    Here is my offering.

    • April 6, 2012 3:45 pm

      I really appreciate that. I honestly believe rivers, especially, evoke strong feelings in a person. Thank you.

  8. April 6, 2012 6:53 am

    This feels full of sadness and longing, with bitterness creeping in towards the end too. A dark piece in tone, if not in content.

    Mine is this-a-way:

  9. April 6, 2012 8:32 am

    Lovely, bittersweet piece. I, too, liked “How quiet the shy morning had become..” Beautiful!


  10. miq permalink
    April 6, 2012 8:40 am

    Am I crazy thinking the MC might have done away with this Madeleine? And that he’s off to tell lies and do away with others? Maybe I read this wrong, but I’m going with it. I liked it.

    Mine is here:

    • April 6, 2012 3:52 pm

      What can I say? I wasn’t thinking of an unreliable narrator but your interpretation is still valid. I’m glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your honesty to present a new view. Thank you.

  11. Lora Mitchell permalink
    April 6, 2012 5:37 pm

    Hi ~ Enjoyed this bittersweet, mood piece. Loved the vision of the ‘unbroken journey’ … a comparison betw, the river and life. Whether you meant it or not…that’s how I read it. Nice work. Here’s mine:

    • April 9, 2012 4:07 pm

      I’m glad you liked it and caught the journey comparison. I appreciate your comments. Thank you

  12. April 7, 2012 5:59 am

    This is definately a moody piece and full of metaphors…a great poetic take too! Well done!

  13. Madison Woods permalink
    April 7, 2012 8:13 am

    I liked the mood you set in this peace and could feel the quiet reflection of your character.

    • April 9, 2012 4:13 pm

      Something about the river, I guess, that inspired a softer mood. I started in two other directions that weren’t working before getting this idea. I’m glad you liked it. Thanks.

  14. April 8, 2012 12:49 pm

    Wow, a very emotive piece. I was left with a definite sense of the character’s longing and sadness, almost an emptiness but like Miq, my gut reaction/interpretation of your words lead me to a darker character. Someone who has killed and is resolving to do so again in order to fill a void. That said, having read the comments thread, I can see I was waaay off base and, on re-reading your story, the meaning is clear 🙂

    Here’s my offering this week:

    • April 9, 2012 4:20 pm

      I think there was a hint of a darkness lurking there along with the longing and sadness, so you may be right, although I wouldn’t go as far as reading deadly violence into it–although who knows–but more say, of deception. Thanks for giving an honest interpretation.

  15. April 9, 2012 5:40 pm

    So it makes me wonder,why she is no longer with us and if he had something to do with her obvious demise….Love it!

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